WARNING!!  The following may contain material that some may find offensive (as if you didn't already know that).  If you are sensitive and easily offended then please close this email immediately and go back to your Yahtzee game.

 

Christmas is a special time.  A time for gluttony and drunkenness.  A time for effusive displays of affection for people you really don't really care for. A time to foist tons of useless crap to your relatives and friends.  It also provides an excellent opportunity to carefully re-gift all the useless crap you received from friends and relatives in previous years. 
 
Christmas is also a time to help out the hungry (whom you have carefully disregarded the rest of the year) with cans of pickled smelt livers, raspberry chutney, smoked sauerkraut and other delicacies culled from those gift hampers you receive from Aunt Marjorie every year and carefully store deep in the dusty recesses of your pantry.

Most importantly Christmas is a time for spirituality.  A time to go to church for the first time all year and hope that God notices and spares you from eternal torture in the fiery pits of hell with your pal Satan. 
 
And finally Christmas is a time to look at your ever expanding mid section (men) and thighs (women) and formulate your fitness and lifestyle plan you will undertake in 2007 which you will conscientiously stick to for several weeks before falling back to your sad but comfortable televised sport, couch and kitchen centric existence.

 

Yahtzee!!!

 

Your Commissioner ALWAYS

(because the OFBA is not a Democracy)